Six Seconds of Daily Kissing May Help Relationship
2024-08-19
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1From VOA Learning English, this is the Health & Lifestyle report.
2After 13 years of marriage, Bethany Meola admits that she and her husband can get caught up in their busy lives.
3They are raising three children and they both have careers.
4So, they make sure to take time every day for a six-second kiss.
5The six-second kiss is a daily exercise suggested by couples therapists John and Julie Gottman.
6It is as simple as it sounds.
7They say taking time each day for a six-second kiss can help connect you physically and emotionally with your partner.
8"It's kind of a funny thing to put on the to-do list," Meola said.
9She first learned of the exercise while studying for a master's degree that centered on marriage and family.
10It made a difference, Meola said.
11"It's long enough to kind of ground you and say, 'Here's this other person that I love, that I've committed to.'"
12Married in 1987, Julie and John Gottman co-founded the Gottman Institute to teach couples therapy.
13John Gottman also wrote The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and other books.
14John Gottman told the Associated Press that six seconds is not just a number.
15It comes from studying more than 3,000 couples over 30 years.
16The Gottmans found that a six-second kiss is enough to help release oxytocin.
17Oxytocin is a natural substance that is produced by the body.
18The substance is widely believed to help a mother connect with her newborn baby.
19The Gottmans say it also builds trust in a relationship by calming down the fear center of the brain.
20They also used research by neuro-economist Paul Zak.
21Zak suggests that a 20-second hug creates the same results.
22"For the 20-second hug or the six-second kiss, it's one that really feels different. It feels like you've come home," John Gottman said.
23Julie Gottman said a long kiss works best for couples who are committed to each other and who trust each other.
24Couples who are working through personal or marital issues might not be ready for it.
25But how do you start this type of exercise? Couples have to decide to take time out of their day to put their relationship first.
26One partner might open the discussion by saying they believe the exercise could bring them closer and it is worth a try.
27The experts suggest creating a ritual.
28For example, set aside the same time every day when both are about to leave for work or just before bedtime.
29Creating a ritual prevents a relationship from becoming one in which the only thing a couple does together is add things "to their very long list of tasks," John Gottman said.
30"We want to really nurture the romance."
31Rituals also create a shared sense of purpose, Julie Gottman said.
32However, she reminds people to enjoy it. Do not think of it as something you are supposed to do.
33And to the couples who say they cannot find the time? She is direct and honest.
34"You really don't have six seconds?"
35"You know, we're not talking six hours here. We're talking six seconds," she said with a laugh.
36And that's the Health & Lifestyle report. I'm Anna Matteo.
1From VOA Learning English, this is the Health & Lifestyle report. 2After 13 years of marriage, Bethany Meola admits that she and her husband can get caught up in their busy lives. They are raising three children and they both have careers. 3So, they make sure to take time every day for a six-second kiss. 4The six-second kiss is a daily exercise suggested by couples therapists John and Julie Gottman. It is as simple as it sounds. They say taking time each day for a six-second kiss can help connect you physically and emotionally with your partner. 5"It's kind of a funny thing to put on the to-do list," Meola said. She first learned of the exercise while studying for a master's degree that centered on marriage and family. 6It made a difference, Meola said. "It's long enough to kind of ground you and say, 'Here's this other person that I love, that I've committed to.'" 7Why does six seconds matter? 8Married in 1987, Julie and John Gottman co-founded the Gottman Institute to teach couples therapy. John Gottman also wrote The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and other books. 9John Gottman told the Associated Press that six seconds is not just a number. It comes from studying more than 3,000 couples over 30 years. The Gottmans found that a six-second kiss is enough to help release oxytocin. 10Oxytocin is a natural substance that is produced by the body. The substance is widely believed to help a mother connect with her newborn baby. The Gottmans say it also builds trust in a relationship by calming down the fear center of the brain. They also used research by neuro-economist Paul Zak. Zak suggests that a 20-second hug creates the same results. 11"For the 20-second hug or the six-second kiss, it's one that really feels different. It feels like you've come home," John Gottman said. 12Julie Gottman said a long kiss works best for couples who are committed to each other and who trust each other. Couples who are working through personal or marital issues might not be ready for it. 13How to start 14But how do you start this type of exercise? Couples have to decide to take time out of their day to put their relationship first. One partner might open the discussion by saying they believe the exercise could bring them closer and it is worth a try. 15The experts suggest creating a ritual. For example, set aside the same time every day when both are about to leave for work or just before bedtime. 16Creating a ritual prevents a relationship from becoming one in which the only thing a couple does together is add things "to their very long list of tasks," John Gottman said. "We want to really nurture the romance." 17Rituals also create a shared sense of purpose, Julie Gottman said. However, she reminds people to enjoy it. Do not think of it as something you are supposed to do. 18And to the couples who say they cannot find the time? She is direct and honest. 19"You really don't have six seconds?" "You know, we're not talking six hours here. We're talking six seconds," she said with a laugh. 20And that's the Health & Lifestyle report. I'm Anna Matteo. 21Albert Stumm reported this story for The Associated Press. Anna Matteo adapted it for VOA Learning English. 22_____________________________________________ 23Words in This Story 24couple - n. two persons married, engaged, or otherwise romantically paired 25therapist - n. an individual specializing in the therapeutic medical treatment of impairment, injury, disease, or disorder 26committed - adj. having made a pledge or commitment to someone (such as a romantic partner) or something (such as a cause) 27ritual - n. an established form for a ceremony 28task - n. a usually assigned piece of work often to be finished within a certain time 29nurture - v. to further the development of 30romance - n. a relationship between two people who are in love with each other